Taking care of our loved ones as they age is an experience like none other.  As they get closer to the end we are forced to come to grips with the reality that they may no longer be with us.  This scenario is especially problematic when we must decide if more or less healthcare is the answer.  Even as our medical technology advances to levels once unthinkable, we face the harsh reality that everyone and everything has an end.

Is there a better way to treat this reality? As Dr. McCullough puts it: “some elderly patients are fruitlessly subjected to what some critics now call Death by Intensive Care—patients who are sedated (and thus unable to communicate) and subjected to enduring impersonal medical protocols in strange, disorienting surroundings or stranded in limbo on life-support machines while their families hover in waiting rooms, uncertain how to help.”  Dr. McCullough echoes the sentiments of many physicians and family members who have had to endure this agonizing scenario.

Slow medicine is “rather, a stern and impassioned call to help families struggling to care for their aging and frail elders; to preserve quality of life even in the face of difficult and accumulating diseases; and to mend elders’ neglect by modern health-care “systems.”  I had to watch my grandfather as he went through numerous tests and medical procedures during the end of his life.  I always wondered if there was a better way to ensure he was at least comfortable during the last stages of his life.  I agree with Dr. McCullough’s idea that slow medicine may be the other alternative that families aren’t made more aware of and may make the process much more manageable.

Dr. McCullough’s article can be found at: http://bit.ly/vs35wB

I recently came across this story written by Paula Span.  Her observations and thoughts on moving her Dad into an Assisted Living community are common among other adults who are looking for more care for their parents.   You can find the full article here: http://nyti.ms/rGL46w and it’s also posted below.

I spent a recent weekend in southern New Jersey with my father, carefully labeling his entire wardrobe — every sock, pajama top and handkerchief — with a black Sharpie. The continuing care retirement community he’s moving to will do his laundry weekly, and it wants his name on each garment.

That wardrobe was shrinking. We rummaged through closets and drawers and filled six trash bags with rarely worn clothing, which I brought home and arranged for a charity to pick up.

“Is this hard for you, Dad?” I asked as I bagged polyester sport jackets circa 1986 and Western-style shirts from long-ago winters in Arizona. He was watching the gradual dissolution of his home. Why wouldn’t that be tough?

But he said it wasn’t. “I don’t attach to clothing,” he said. (Attach? Has he been having extensive conversations with his yoga teacher?) “It’s people that I’ll miss.”

My father, Murray, will turn 89 in September. He has been living on his own in an apartment building that a gerontologist would call a N.O.R.C., a naturally occurring retirement community. It was never designed for senior housing, but a cluster of old people have aged there together, sharing rides, passing around extra containers of soup and schmoozing in the lobby while waiting for the mail to arrive. This small community has meant a lot to him.

During our many conversations about the future, he’d always been clear that when he eventually faltered, he wanted to move to an assisted living facility. He’s a gregarious, outgoing guy who likes to be around people; he thinks home care would be too isolating. We’d actually visited assisted living places that might serve, one day.

But he had chugged along, healthy and lucid and not really in need of much help. He could have stayed in his N.O.R.C., if he wanted to — and sometimes he did want to.

Last fall, when some of his buddies were in the hospital or moving closer to family, he had told me how his cohort was thinning, how nobody played bingo in the rec room downstairs anymore. Most days, folks no longer convened to await the mail. And shopping and cooking (defrosting, mostly) was getting bothersome.

“It sounds like you think it might be time to move, Dad,” I’d said cautiously, not wanting to push him. He was sounding a little lonely.

“I think maybe so,” he’d said.

So of course I’d sprung into action, assembled a team, started looking for facilities. Not only did I want to make this transition as easy as possible for him — though it’s never easy — but I felt the pressure of having written about elder care for several years. I’m the one who’s supposed to know how to do this! I can’t blow it!

Dad wavered, though, and decided he’d rather wait until spring. He didn’t want to spend so much money. He didn’t want to leave his friends, his volunteer work, his congregation. Maybe it wasn’t time, after all. I backed off.

For several months, every time a neighbor went into the hospital, he thought about moving. Then, when things stabilized, he figured, what’s the hurry?

Now it was spring and we were preparing for his new home, probably his last. What had changed?

It was a dreadful, snowy winter, for one thing, and getting around was hard. (Dad uses a walker because a bout of Bell’s palsy messed up his balance.)

More important, he had had a minor traffic accident, misgauging a left turn. Nobody was injured — Dad, the friend he was ferrying to a doctor’s office and the other driver were all fine — but it troubled him. After a restless night, he’d called to say that he thought he should stop driving before he hurt someone.

Brief digression: Yes, my sister and I do know how lucky we are. My father is Mr. Rationality, and that makes everything simpler.

He was right to give up his nearly totaled car, no doubt, but it made him dependent on friends for rides to the synagogue, to yoga class, to the supermarket. For years, he’d gone out in the morning to buy the newspaper, which then got passed around the building the rest of the day. (Why would you pay 75 cents for your own copy when you could read Murray’s?) Now, he had to relinquish his paper route.

Besides, Mr. Rationality has always been the guy who advocates doing things before a crisis hits.

He and my mother had sold their bungalow, divesting themselves of 40 years worth of stuff, and had moved into this elevator building when they were both still in reasonably good health. A year later, she had cancer and they were thankful they’d coped with the multiple headaches of moving when they did.

The current situation, I’d told my father as he vacillated, was much the same. He could stay in his N.O.R.C., 125 miles from his daughters, for months or maybe years. But the odds were that at some point he’d need more care. (I left out the part about some people waiting until they’re too sick for assisted living.) It made sense to move while he still had the vigor to adjust to a new environment.

“I hate leaving everybody here,” he’d finally concluded. “But it’s only a matter of time, and then we’d have to do it after something happened, after I fell or something. And that would be more difficult.”

Yes. Much.

So the move is on — to an independent living apartment in a facility that also offers assisted living and a nursing wing and is 3.8 miles from my home. With my father’s permission, I’ll be writing about the process, which is just as stressful and fraught as everyone here probably knows, even for Mr. Rationality.

Here we go. Wish us luck.

Choosing a retirement home or assisted living facility for you or your loved one can be difficult.  There are many factors to consider before deciding on a community.  Some of the most important ones are the following:

Dining: Is there a meal plan?  Can the meals be tailored to meet specific dietary needs?  Request a menu, most communities have a rotating menu from week to week so be sure to ask for a couple.  You want to look for variety and balanced meals.

Care options:  Are there different tiers of  care should you need them in the future?

Location:  Is the community close to attractions, hospitals, doctors offices?

Activity Program: May be the most overlooked aspect of communities.  At the Inn we make sure to provide a variety of stimulating and fun social activities to keep residents busy.

For further resources, be sure to check out the following sites.  Good luck!

Consumer Consortium on Assisted Living, www.ccal.org

National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers, www.caremanager.org

National Center for Assisted Living, www.ncal.org

Assisted Living Federation of America, www.alfa.org

Total Living Choices, www.tlchoices.com

AARP, www.aarp.org

Every year that passes is another year with reduced benefits for social programs such as Social Security and Medicare.  It’s no surprise that these programs are running out of money putting individuals and especially seniors in a tough spot both financially and emotionally.

The New England Journal of Medicine has a great article on the public perception about these important programs: http://healthpolicyandreform.nejm.org/?p=14918&query=TOC

The importance of staying up to date on public policies cannot be stressed enough.  As our population continues to age, it’s up to us to be involved and ensure that our elderly population is not left in the dark.

We hope everyone had a safe and fun July 4th!  Here at the Inn we celebrated Independence Day by having a good ol’ fashioned cookout.  Burgers, hot dogs, and beers were flowing.

There’s been a lot of renovations that have been done recently to the Inn and we look forward to bringing our residents the very best in senior care.

Thanks for reading and stop by for a visit!

“If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.”  ~Robert Brault

For Mother’s Day, the Inn hosted a fabulous meal celebrating all the mother’s residing in our community and around the world.  We cannot thank our mothers enough for everything they have sacrificed and given to us.

“The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example.” – Benjamin Disraeli

In May we also celebrated Memorial Day, giving thanks to Veterans and taking time to remember all our brave people who died in our nation’s service. We had a wonderful BBQ and hope that everyone will join us in June for our many other events!

Be sure to check out The Inn’s newly updated Activity Calendar! We’ve added some new activities that are sure to bring some excitement to our community.   Play  games and stay in shape with our Nintendo Wii.  We’ve also added a new basketball hoop for one of our most popular activities, Chair Basketball!  The Inn strives to continually keep our residents mentally and socially engaged.  We’re always open to suggestions regarding activities and meal options.  If you have any questions or comments feel free to let us know, either through our website, by telephone, or in person.

Greetings from The Inn!  March saw a flurry of activity that was enjoyed by our amazing residents, their families, and our hard-working staff.

Life is all about beginnings and endings…at our monthly resident council meeting one of our favorite residents, Polly Ward, announced that she would be moving to be closer to her family.  We will miss her dearly!  We also want to welcome our two new residents Sandy and Joyce.  We thank you for choosing The Inn as your new home and look forward to getting to know you!

St. Patrick’s Day was celebrated on March 17th.  Residents munched on corned beef, cabbage, steamed potatoes, and green beer!

On March 27th, our “Residents Choir” performed alongside other very talented musicians at a Hollywood Church.  The music and atmosphere was amazing and The Inn would like to specially thank David, whose father Matthew is a current resident, for leading our Choir and hosting an unforgettable event.

Be sure to pick up a copy of “The Innformer,” our monthly newsletter created by one of our talented residents, Nancy.

The Inn hopes everyone had a wonderful 1st quarter and we look forward to serving you in the future~

Best wishes to everyone as we “Spring Forward.”  The Inn has been implementing lots of new changes in regards to our Activity calendar as well as our Menu options.  Be sure to check them out!

February 14th was the Inn’s annual Valentine’s Day party.  There was lots of dancing & laughing and special thanks goes out to everyone involved with the set-up and entertainment.  The staff at the Inn on the Blvd are truly amazing people.  They are committed to making the Inn the best retirement living facility in Studio City!

Be sure to check back weekly as we will be announcing special events and general updates regarding the Inn!

Ever thought about the difference between nursing homes and assisted living in Burbank, CA? The truth is that most residents of the Media Capital of the World tend to regard the two as one in the same, but anyone who has spent time in both will assure you that they are completely different beasts. Burbank’s assisted living facilities are so much better for the mental and physical health of their residents that they consider it an emergency situation if one of their own has to be temporarily moved to, for example, one of the nursing homes Encino offers.

Assisted living offers three major differences from a standard nursing home: independence, amenities, and social opportunities.

Independence
A nursing home operates akin to a hospital; you have a fairly strict schedule that requires you to be in your room often and gives you very little choice about what you do when. On the other hand, assisted living provides a mostly open schedule with meals offered at specific times and a daily (or more often) check-in from a health care professional, but largely lets you choose where you’ll be at what time.

Amenities
A nursing home offers significant levels of health care and a level of constant attention that an assisted living facility doesn’t. But they rarely have workout rooms, swimming pools, tennis courts, bingo rooms, or transportation to nearby sites — all of which are commonplace in assisted living communities.

Social Opportunities
One of the things that makes life most worth living is the contact we have with others. Besides possibly a roommate and an ever-shifting array of nurses, the potential for sociality at a nursing home is quite low. Assisted living offers daily activities designed to get their residents together, as well as several places that they can independently meet and spend social time with one another.

Between those three elements, it’s a small wonder that almost any family would prefer that their loved one be able to live in one of Burbank’s assisted living facilities than in a nursing home in Sherman Oaks or Encino.